Sh*t Single Girls Say to Their Pregnant Friends...by Hot Auntie Courty

Allow me to introduce myself, since my reputation precedes me.  I am Auntie Courty, Dorah the Explorah’s most fun auntie, just ask Kaley, I tell the best stories.  I’m not going to lie to you, I am not the biggest fan of babies, however, Kaley Bear managed to win me over with one look, so I feel pretty confident of Baby Gul Nugget’s chances.  I am looking forward to many things about being an aunt again, such as teaching BGN “fun” words, how to be a sass, and introducing her at an inappropriately early age to the wonder that is Drop Dead Gorgeous.  But until the lovely Mi Amora makes her appearance this summer, this is what I am telling her mom on a daily basis:

#Sh*t Single Girls Say to Their Pregnant Friends:

·         Hey lets go get sushi!  Oh wait...

·         Umm, what does this do?

·         Umm, what is that?

·         I promise to like every picture of your baby you post on facebook

·         Hey lets go get wasted! Oh wait...

·         Your baby is so cute!

·         Can I hold her?

·         Wait, take her back.

·         Why is she crying?

·         Are you gonna get that…I mean her?

·         Is she sleeping yet?

·         I’m jealous of your maternity leave

·         I’m jealous of your maternity boobs

·         Thanks for the birth control reminder.

·         Is your baby going to look like me?

·         Congratulations on being 19 kids away from your own reality show

·         Tell me everything about pregnancy

·         No really, tell me, I want to know.

·         It can’t hurt that bad.

·         No, don’t tell me anything

Usual Update:

How Far Along: I’m 26, but don’t remind me I’ll be 27 in April.  But I still expect presents

Total Weight Gain: “still carrying a lil holiday weight”—Ross Gellar

Maternity Clothes: I have “drinking shirts” and “going out shirts”

Stretch Marks: add it to the list of things not to tell me about

Best Moment of the Week: GULS dinner with Sarah, Molls and Hillary where we ate our weight in rolls

Miss Anything: no, I do what I want, cause I’m not pregnant ;)

Movement: I danced in a bar last week

Food Cravings: french fries when I’m hung over

Anything that makes me sick/nauseas: hangovers

Gender: GUL

Labor Signs: god I hope not

Wedding rings on or off: #singlegirlproblems #whitegirlproblems

Happy or Moody: I love my life or life is hard.

Looking forward to: the birth of my newest niece gul, spoiling her and her mama like crazy, telling embarrassing stories at Baby Gul Nugget’s first birthday, first day of kindergarten, teaching her how to drive in a winstar van (cause is there another way?), high school graduation and just generally love loving her forever J