Friday, September 21, 2012

My Sh*t List


What the girls told me and I thought “Ha, that will NEVER happen to me.”

Or what they told me and it just did not work.

 

1.       Sleep When She Sleeps. Sometimes, it just didn’t happen. Sometimes, you just wanted to curl up on the couch and play on the iPad watching old episodes of Friends. Sometimes you wanted to drink wine and work on the computer. Sometimes you just wanted to be awake during the day…and be you! Early morning, sleep. Later at night, sleep. It was too hard for me during the day, and I have been the QUEEN of naps for years. Sleep when you can and want to.

2.      Pee before you start a feeding. I think my little boo boo was going on 2 weeks old. It was 12:30am, the milk truck arrived,  and away we went. About 30 seconds into the feeding, I realized I had not gone to the bathroom since 5:30pm that evening. Jesus, Mary and Joseph was my food a’tappin’. Eventually, down Norah Boo went into her bouncy chair and Mama ran to the bathroom. Middle of the night, screaming baby, greasy hair, disgusting pjs and a solid 3-4 minute pee…”this has gotta be the good life.”

3.      Ask the husband for SPECIFIC help with SPECIFIC things you need. Well, pretty self-explanatory.

4.      PJ’s. You need an infinite amount of pjs that make you feel “good”…I went through at least 2 pair a day, on a good day. I lived in them for about 2-3 weeks.

5.      It’s ok if you brush your teeth with mouthwash. (And various other shortcuts) Until hers was about 3-4 weeks old, it was a mouthwash brushing in the morning before (or after, or at 3pm in the afternoon) that 5am feed and a baby powder shower at night. (Now that I’ve gone back to work nothing has really changed. Don’t judge me.) I remember looking in the mirror one day and remembering “Oh, I have eyebrows.” Who the hell forgets they have eyebrows?! This chick. Do what you can, when you can, with what you have. Mascara works wonders on Mommy Eyes. (Similar to "wine eyes.)

6.      Figure sh*t out, Make sh*t up. My new life motto. If one thing isn’t working, try something else. If that doesn’t work, make up something that does.  The kid will eventually calm down. If not, call your Mom.

7.      Have a way for quick coffee and quick snacks . Oh look at me all high and mighty “I’m not drinking caffeine while feeding the baby, blah blah blah.” Well let me tell you…the morning I switched back to regular coffee from a QUICK coffee maker was AH-MAH-ZING. I got so much stuff done around this place and was a happy camper. Caffeine is your friend with an infant. So are quick snacks. My sisters brought a picnic basket full of gourmet cookies that looked like “picnic items”. For example: a mustard bottle, a hot dog, a hamburger, etc. So, they would get fun texts:

- 2:30am, “Just ate the mustard.”

-4:45am, “Hamburger gone.”

-6:30am, “Half a hotdog”

You get the idea. Good Part: easy snack in the middle of the night. Bad part: cookies with icing not good for shedding that baby weight!
 All in all, I’ve learned more in the past 11 ½ weeks than in my 4 years of college. My precious Norah Boo is going on 3 months and is the light of our lives. We also LOVE Honey Boo Boo…#hotmess.
 
Check Chase’s facebook and my twitter/instagram for updated pictures.
 
Until we meet again…
 
Baby Mama Gibson