Soap Box

**WARNING: Pretty Feisty, Red is in a MOOD**

Well, it’s come to a point where I must get on my soap box and be my usual Smart-A self. (I’m on my soap box about 97% of the time anyway so…um….take care.)

IF YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING NICE OR APPROPRIATE TO ME WITHIN THE NEXT 3 MONTHS, SIMPLY SMILE AND NOD.

“Wow, those horizontal stripes make you look wide!”

“Girl, you’ve got a looonnnggg ways to go!”

News flash: I am growing a human inside of me. That does not mean all of my other internal body parts went away. There is going to be some shifting and (OMG) growth! I like chubby babies and my baby girl will be a chubby bunny-that’s all there is to it. I’m going into my 7th month of being pregnant, not 2nd week. And, I don’t think the math is too complicated to figure out I don’t have that far to go…the rest of April, May, June, then BAM! *If you need help, I know a lot of fun Math songs with counting.*

“Will you be Breast feeding? Yes? No?”

Really any sort of breast feeding question should be off limits. How we feed our baby will be our business. Why people think this is an appropriate question baffles me. Seriously, I am going to start replying with:

“No, Chase is going to take care of that for me.”

Or maybe even throw the dog in there once or twice.

The word “breast” is weird anyway. I know, I know, it’s a beautiful thing, better for baby, yada yada yada. I would just prefer NOT to talk about unless at a small dinner with 3 other girls (Ahem), or a small girls group on a patio. At the end of the day, it is still my boob, my baby will get fed, and all will be at peace.

Ahhhhh…much better…questions/comments/concerns about my sanity? Send them to Santa. He probably gets some doozies!

The Usual Prego Update:

How Far Along: about to finish up 27 weeks-baby the size of a head of cauliflower

Maternity Clothes: belly bands, maternity tops, capris and dresses, cotton skirts, “regular tight tops,” TEXAS Rangers shirts

Sleep: only getting up two times per night and have moved a fan right in front of me-gotta love that fun change into the Texas heat

Best Moment This Week: CLASSIC conversation with Marmee. Golden material for my SNL auditions. DYING to let her let me share on here. Another entertaining Guls birthday dinner for Auntie Courty. Me: “I’m hot, I’m full, I can’t breathe, my eyes never stop watering and my upper lip is out of control!” Gul: “Me too!” And a few other fun topics of conversation ;)

Miss Anything: Sushi, Frozen Margaritas, COLD Mexican Beer…homestretch.

Movement: Lots of hiccups so my belly is always bouncing

Food Cravings: M&M’s, ice cream, frozen fruit, my homemade baked chicken nuggets

Anything making me sick or nauseas: starting to think about the whole “birthing” process…

Gender: Hers nice girl

Labor Signs: some low pains that give me a little jolt-more stretching I am guessing.

Symptoms: Sleepy. Hungry. Thirsty. Fussy. Repeat. (Hmmm, sounds like a newborn.)

Belly Button: It’s getting ready to POP. 

Wedding Rings: On, but not all 3 at the same time.

Happy or Moody: Sleepy.

Looking Forward To: Starting to decorate the nursery and get stuff organized! I am a “TYPE A” personality and things have to be put in their spot. Random baby stuff around the house is driving me crazy. (Yes, I know after she gets here it will be different, but I’m thinking I’ll be too tired to care.) Until then, I need some order people!